A warm welcome here in the Roku Community, @matsmats!
Thanks for posting your query regarding the Smart Home App notification. We're here to assist you with this.
May we first know if you and your wife's phone are connected to the same network connection? It may be possible that a delay happened because of the signal of your Wi-Fi or mobile data.
Furthermore, you could also try to delete the app, reboot your smartphone, and install it again as a troubleshooting method to see if it will make any difference.
Let us know how it goes, and we'll go from there. We'll be anticipating your update!
Best regards,
Carly
Carly Y.
Roku Community Moderator